The biggest lesson I've learned over the past few years is that there are two ways to get things done:

1) Quietly put your head down and sweat it out yourself, grunting and groaning the whole way through

or

2) Raise your hand and ask if anyone can help you get what you want and what you need

I've chosen the latter for the past few months and I have to say: practicing what I preach and asking for help has been life-changing.

I'm great at asking for what I need in a personal setting, but professionally, I'm still a work in progress.

But because I've asked for help, I've gotten:

• Selected to receive a Lady of Legacy award from a local nonprofit

• Asked to be on a committee to provide programming for women of color at my alma mater

• The opportunity to participate in a college orientation session (teaching the freshmen about self-care!)

• Additional hands and eyes on deck for my fourth annual self-care retreat, the first year I've had any volunteer help!

  And those are just my professional wins.

  I share this with you to tell you that the time for being humble and wholly self-sufficient is over. It's been over, sis.

  The absolute best thing you can do is be vocal about what you need. Don't worry about being perceived as "needy." Don't worry about people thinking you're not working hard enough. Don't worry about people judging you. Don't worry about any of it.

  The only thing you must stay focused on is how much of a load you're carrying and if you need to make any adjustments. Dassit.

  Being your own advocate takes practice. So practice.