The Self Care Suite

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How To Tell If Your Priorities Are Out Of Whack (And How To Fix It)

woman on yellow backgroundIf anyone asked me what was most important to me, I would say, without hesitation, that my family came first.My kids are more important than any career goals of mine, and they are, in fact, the whole reason I set out to be an entrepreneur in the first place. I wanted flexibility to be there for their school performances, nightly homework and weekend trips. I do this for them, I tell everyone.But when my kids asked me to play with them, or otherwise request that I stop working to give them attention, I'd shoo them away, irritated that they had interrupted me for the umpteenth time that day. I hated the stop-start nature of my work. I just wanted to write and work and not have to do motherhood stuff too.My priorities were out of whack. That much was clear. The sad part is how it took me months years to notice. But to give myself credit, once I had the epiphany, I also worked to make changes, ensuring that my words and my actions synced.How can you tell if your priorities are out of whack?

  1. You find yourself constantly apologizing to people you care about because you're distracted or otherwise busy. My kids would come into my office and ask me a question. Most times it was something that, if I just paused and took 30 seconds to answer, they would have skipped happily out of my office and into the rest of their day. But I was consumed with catching up with work and would end up having to find them and apologize for being busy. It didn't feel good to me, and it definitely didn't feel good to them.
  2. Your day is always "getting away from you." You have the best intentions of going to the gym, spending time with loved ones, getting together with friends, but before you know it, it's nighttime and you're tired.
  3. Your priorities are missing from your calendar. I have so much going on that if it's not on my calendar, it doesn't get done. As a result, the important things get written down. My workouts weren't written down. Playtime with my kids wasn't written down. What do you consider most important and do you write it down?

How to fix it:

  1. Acknowledge where you've fallen short. If you've been slacking in any area, most likely you already know it. Acknowledge it, offer sincere apologies if necessary and work on steps 2 and 3.
  2. Plan the important stuff first. Start the day with your priorities. For example, if your health is a priority (as it should be), get in some exercise before you get off track or too tired from everything else. 
  3. Get the important stuff in writing. It might feel silly to pencil in "play with my kids" but you'll get over it. What gets written, gets done in my life. So get clear about your schedule and make those priorities literal priorities.

YOUR TURN

Grab a pen and paper and jot down the answers to these questions:

  1. What are the top five priorities in your life?
  2. Have they shifted over the past year?
  3. Are any of them being neglected or in danger of being neglected?
  4. What is ONE thing you can do to bring your priorities back into balance?

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