Call me a self-care junkie. It’s the whole reason I started The Self Care Suite in 2015, because I wanted to spread the message to the masses.

When I heard that activist Angela Davis and poet Nikki Giovanni were getting together for a conversation with one of of my favorite organizations, Girl Trek, to discuss the self-care practices that have sustained them over the years, I put it on my calendar and sat down with a legal pad to write down what hit me deep. (Watch it here.)

But in listening to the conversation, it wasn’t just the elders that had me walk away inspired. The founders of Girl Trek, Vanessa Garrison and T. Morgan Dixon, co-hosted the chat and their warmth, beauty and poise had me taking notes. I wanted to shout, “THAT’S HOW YOU DO IT. THAT’S HOW YOU CENTER BLACK WOMEN ON A PLATFORM.” They did the damn thing.

The nearly two hour conversation was a reflection on the world around us and how black women can use our legacies to claim brighter, healthier days in the future. Here are a few of my takeaways and how we can put some of this wisdom into practice:

My key takeaways:

The Power of Self-Definition

Vanessa and Morgan tried to pay the appropriate respect to their elders by addressing them as “Ms,” but the two legends insisted they simply use first names. It reminds me of how we build women up sometimes (correctly!) as these titans of their respective fields, but often they see themselves as simply “Nikki” or “Angela.” They’re warm-blooded women under all those accolades. Vanessa and Morgan set the stage for an intimate conversation by respecting their wishes (only occasionally slipping in “auntie” as a term of endearment).

Put it into practice: Decide how you define yourself. Who has the power to call you by your nickname? How do you address yourself in your email signature? What’s your bio on social media?

Let It Out

“I recommend crying and would also recommend champagne,” Nikki Giovanni quipped, throwing her head back for a laugh. She kept conversation light all evening, but her recommendation came from personal experience. In her 2017 book, “A Good Cry,” Giovanni recounted a health scare with high blood pressure and seizures a few years back, where she recognized she had been holding too much in and causing real harm to her body.

Put it into practice: Get into the habit of letting tears flow. For those of us who don’t like to cry, understand that crying is inherently therapeutic. Researchers have studied tears and discovered that tears release excess stress hormones. It’s your bodies way of helping you out, getting you back to equilibrium. Don’t deny it the opportunity.

Invite People Into Community

I love people who don’t give community lip service. It’s one thing to promote it but another thing to embody it completely. Vanessa and Morgan took the time on multiple occasions to broaden the room — to invite women who were being discussed to enter the conversation. Angela Davis gave me a new quote for my community-building work: “We do this work not so much for ourselves individually but we do this work for our community and our community stretches toward the past and it stretches toward the future.”

Nikki Giovanni reminded us that so much of what we do is because of the folks who came before us. They weren’t able to go as far, so we pick up the baton and make them proud. (I’d like to think that extends to self-care as well — our foremothers weren’t able to rest as much, so the fact that we can today should be seen as progress for everybody.) That generational connectivity is why I insisted that the Suite be open to women in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond. We can all learn from each other.

Put it into practice: Shift your perspective being individualistic to communal. That means looking for opportunities (especially now) to support those in your circle. When we all win, we all win.

Revisit Your Relationship to Beauty

I think Angela Davis summed it up perfectly: “To me, beauty is about freedom. Beauty is about liberation."

This stay-at-home/self-quarantine period has a lot of us without access to our standard nails, hair, lashes and waxing. Without all that, do you still feel beautiful? Do you feel attractive? Is your definition of beauty internal or external?

Put it into practice: What makes you feel beautiful? It’s fine to start with physical attributes (yesssss, your lips are bomb, girl) but don’t stop there. What else makes the list? Is it your intelligence? The way you know how to whip up a meal out of any ingredients available? How you can console your baby without breaking a sweat? Write at least 10 things and then when you’re done, write 10 more.

Tend to Your Health

Girl Trek’s main mission is to get 1 million black women moving, which both Davis and Giovanni were both enthused about. “I need one of those Girl Trek shirts of yours!” Giovanni said, sending the whole space into a laughing fit. (She was not playing around!) It’s easy to get overwhelmed with all these fitness options out here but Girl Trek makes it simple: Just walk. With the current COVID-19 pandemic limiting a lot of our options for physical activity, walking is looking like the safe and easy choice it always has been.

Put it into practice: Aim for a 30-minute walk 3-4 times per week, if not daily. Throw on your headphones and listen to a podcast or favorite artist (that Jill Scott/Erykah Badu Verzuz playlist is fiiiire). Take photos of the beauty you see. Do a walking meditation, where you clear your head and simply focus on what’s in front of you.

Tara Pringle Jefferson is the founder of The Self Care Suite, a wellness community that encourages women of color to connect, prioritize themselves and unlearn exhaustion. Read more.