If you struggle with anxiety (like I do) or self-doubt, you probably fight negative self-talk on a regular basis.
Sometimes that voice sounds like:
“Why would you post that on Facebook? Nobody cares what you’re going through.”
“Nobody is going to come to your event.”
“Your boss doesn’t like you. You’re only 2-3 days from getting fired.”
That voice isn’t you. It might feel like you but it’s not.
So what I’ve learned to do is to ask that inner voice, “How do you know that?”
Then that inner voice starts stammering and struggling: “Well, um, see, because…..”
And then you know it’s all fake.
I’ve had to learn to interrupt negative thoughts to take away their power. Ignore them and they get louder, more persistent because they want your attention. Embrace them and they soften, becoming less abstract and more based in reality.
Interrupt your negative self-talk with some of these phrases:
- “What if it all works out? What would it look like? Can I imagine that instead?”
- “What can I do now to increase the odds of getting the results I want?”
- “What evidence do I have from past events that this will work out?”
- “Who can I reach out to reassure me of my worth?”
- “Who can I reach out to help me problem solve?”
- “Is this something I can actually control?”
- “Is this something that is actually my problem?”
Getting in the habit of interrogating your negative self-talk and not letting it intimidate you is key to a well-nourished life. It’s not easy, but the more you do it, the more it becomes habit and the easier it is for you to move on with your day.
Tara Pringle Jefferson is the founder of The Self Care Suite, a multicultural community for well-nourished women, who fortify themselves by practicing consistent self-care. Read more on her here and join her free support group for more tips and suggestions on living well.