The Self Care Strategy I Learned From Beyonce
Beyonce has run the world for nearly my entire life.
In her 2013 documentary, “Life is But A Dream,” Beyonce gets raw and real in front of her Macbook. Alone in her bedroom or a hotel room, Beyonce talks to the camera with no filter.
Since watching the documentary, I adapted the practice for my own self-care routine. Journaling is always touted as a breakthrough for so many people, but I’ve always struggled to do it consistently because I tend to think faster than I can write. With video journaling, there’s no struggle to keep up and it’s just as vulnerable as putting pen to paper, perhaps even more so.
Here’s how I set it up:
I give myself a time limit for these talks, usually under 5 minutes. 3 minutes is the sweet spot because it forces me to say what I need to say, without the fluff.
I hit the record button and just...go. Whatever has been on my mind, stressing me out, giving me pause, I just speak it. I don’t censor myself and if I stumble over my words or have to pause, it’s okay! Keep the video rolling.
After those few minutes are up, I stop talking. (If I have more to say, I’ll do another video.)
Then, depending on how I’m feeling, I’ll watch it back. (If you’re not a fan of watching yourself on video, you can use audio notes instead. ) There is something about seeing yourself on camera, being incredibly open and vulnerable that strikes a nerve. It makes the answer to your dilemma tangible and gives you a fresh perspective. Almost as if you’re listening to a friend vent and the answer is clear to you, but hidden from them because they are so bogged down with the weight of the situation.
Depending on your personality you can either keep them on your phone or delete them. I delete most of them, but I keep the ones that really resonate and/or document how I was feeling at a pivotal moment in my life.
I really began to lean on this method of journaling when I was going through a particularly rough time in my marriage a few years ago. I had a therapist at the time, but in between sessions we’d have a fight and I’d have nowhere to dump my emotional residue. So I turned to my phone, hit record and let it out. (Happy to report that we’re still together!)
I don’t only use it when I’m in crisis, however.
I use it when I simply need to express what I’m feeling and there’s no one to reach out to at the moment. I’ve also used it in advance of a therapy session or phone call with a friend, just so my thoughts are clear and I can enter the conversation without thoughts jumbled in my head.
When I work with women in our community, I often recommend video journaling as a practice that gets you to view yourself more as a trusted and beloved friend.
Hit record and let me know how it goes for you.
Updated: A couple readers wondered where do you even begin with video journaling — that is, how do you know what’s journal worthy? I don’t have an answer on how to make that determination, but I do have a few question prompts that can get you started:
What do I need more of in my life this week? What do my desires sound like?
Which of my relationships have been the point of focus this week? How have they filled me up?
How have I been sleeping? Is anything affecting my ability to get a good rest?
Am I worried about anything in particular?
How do I want to feel when it comes to [insert personal situation here]?
Try these out next time you feel the urge to start to journal.
