What You Need To Understand About Your "Strong Friends"

In light of the recent high-profile suicide cases, I've seen a slew of people rush to spread the word about checking in on your "strong" friends.

We all know who they mean -- the ones who check in on everyone else, the ones who we turn to when we're sad or stressed, the ones who always seem to have to good positive word for everybody.

But I have to tell you, as a self-proclaimed "strong friend," that checking in isn't always enough. If we're going to ask our friends how they are doing, we have to also understand "The Mask."

The Mask is the protector.

The Mask tells us that if we shut up about our pain, people will love us.

The Mask says that no one wants to hear how we're doing so just be quiet.

The Mask says that if you DO share how you're feeling, you're being a burden to people so just shut your mouth.

The Mask wants us to appear strong and capable and engaging. The Mask does not like weakness and does not want anyone else to believe we have any.

The Mask likes solitude. It craves distance. It does not want people to peek behind the curtain because OH MY GOD you'll see us as we really are.

The Mask loves questions from friends like "How are you doing?" because it knows we don't have to tell the truth. The Mask LIVES for that question because it's the moment it puts on its best performance. "I'm good," The Mask says. Another victory.

The Mask is the reason a lot of us are able to get up and move through the world day after day. We are trembling under that mask and there are very few people who can take it off for us. For the most part, *we* have to decide when The Mask has to go.

So checking in on your strong friends is great. But remember they might be wearing The Mask.

So how can you help those people who are struggling and unable to voice it? I'm putting my time and money where my mouth is and getting some additional training around mental health.

The Mental Health First Aid course is available nationwide and will help you identify, understand, and respond to signs of mental illnesses. That way, The Mask won't win.