Who Can I Run To? Where Self-Care Meets Community Care

My definition of self-care is "figuring out what you need and making sure you get it."

Which, on its face, sounds pretty easy.

But over the past week or so, I've gotten a handful of messages from women hung up on that second part: making sure their needs get met.

My advice? The best way for me to feel like my needs get met is that I spread them out among several people/things. Let me show you how that looks in action:

• I call my mom when I need to vent or test out new jokes (my mom thinks I'm hilarious).

• I have my best friend Amber to discuss marriage, entrepreneurship and our Beyhive membership.

• I have my kids when I want just be silly and let my hair down.

• I turn to my husband when I need to be held or a bit of romance.

• I catch up with my sisters when I need a pep talk.

• I make an appointment with my therapist when I feel "off" mentally or energetically.

• I go to the library/bookstore when I need some mental stimulation.

• I hit the gym when I have some stress to relieve.

We get caught up when we expect one person — our spouse, our BFF, our siblings — or thing to fill all our needs. Each person has different strengths that make them perfect for the role they play in my life.

Once I accepted that, it made it easier to let go of the expectation that my husband, for example, needed to be my lover, my therapist, my co-worker, my best friend. He could just be my husband and it took the pressure off both of us.

Don't have a whole tribe to support you? Join us in the Suite, our private Facebook group to meet like-minded women. We have some virtual meetups kicking off soon.

Tara Pringle Jefferson is the founder of The Self Care Suite and a strong believer that community saves lives.